Part Two of the Healthy School Tree

A Healthy School Tree

Let's turn our focus to a few of the top healthy elements within a school families tree. 

I much prefer to focus on the positives. It comes naturally to me to want to have a positive attitude. Maybe, that is because I'm lazy. I was always taught it's much easier to be positive and I still believe that...most of the time. Speaking of positive, I happen to teach within a school family that I am truly fond of being a with. This being the case, it's easy for me to come up with some driving factors for retaining a healthy school life. The number one factor is sincerely caring about one another. What better example can we as adults show our school children than to sincerely care about one another? Once again, this has nothing to do with being everybody's best friend or even liking everything about everybody. This has to do with human kindness, caring, and empathy. 

My school has a social committee. Everyone is invited to be a part and nothing is decided upon that would make it financially or socially uncomfortable for anyone on our staff. For example, we give baby and wedding showers at school, preceding the weekly Staff Meeting. We have made it a point to not allow our celebrations to become a burden in any fashion. Therefore, we have great support, attendance, and most of all lots of fun!! 

We have a network, through text, e-mail, or calling, to let our Staff Family know when one of us has suffered a loss, a medical emergency, or any other catastrophic incident. We make sure to communicate our concern for those individuals. Once again, the glue that holds this gesture in place is sincerity. Nobody is talking about getting full on into someone's private life. This isn't being nosey, gossipy, or impertinent. I'm on the turf of caring.

Here is a stand out element. We try our best to pay attention. "Pay Attention", you say. Yes. The school day isn't about the kids at all times. Not at a healthy Happy School. The day is also about noticing how our school family is doing/feeling. We can all pass each other in the hallway and be busy in thought or have kiddos we are trying to herd into straight lines. "Give me a bubble", "Purple line-purple line", "I'll wait"..... and before we know it, we realize we haven't even noticed the adults passing us. Happens to me all the time. But, when we pass a co-worker that has an expression of sadness, worry, frustration on their faces that should stand out to our hearts. It will, because we know that person well enough to understand something may be hurting them. We pay attention to our peers. A family cares about each other. A healthy school environment is filled with compassion.

We never know what our peers may be going home to in the afternoons. They may be struggling through a bump in their marriage or worse, they may be facing divorce. They may have recently lost someone dear to them. They may be suffering with health issues, a spouses' job loss, an abusive spouse, or have someone in their family that is ill. They may simply be exhausted from being up all night with a new baby then coming in to teach wiped out day after day. Or, they may be a single parent, who is trying to get their master's degree and be the best at their job everyday. My mother did this. I still don't know how she did it with three children. My boss does it with two teens. I admire both of these women so much. 

Let's all pay more attention. Make a point to let others know you care. There are endless ideas for expressing concern. I think this is a great idea. Take the time to slip an encouraging note in their box. One of my friends did that for me at the first of the year. She was paying attention and felt an encouraging note would lift me up. It did. I put that card in a special place and it gets my attention daily. My school staff is amazing at doing those caring gestures and it makes a proactive, positive difference in our overall morale. You never know when a little piece of chocolate or a random hug is just what a person needs to get through their day. Or, like on of my peers does. Whisper something hilarious as you pass by your peer in team teaching. Gets me every time!

Come on!! When you've got a healthy morale among the staff, you've got some healthy roots for that School Tree. And, when these key elements are added into the mix, we come up with a proactive staff environment from which children and adults can flourish. Here's to keeping our school families happier! Happy Schools Rock!

 

SaveSave
SaveSave
SaveSave

School Trees

What Does Your "School Tree" Look Like?

This view made possible by more than one tree.

I come from a family with deep interest in the roots of our family tree. Our family's tree canopy stretches broadly like most family trees do. My family's tree traces lives all the way back to the year 1300 AD on the ancient British Isles. Folks in all parts of my family tree have taken the time to seek out all the branches of our family history. They put down the data and passed it forward. Our history includes fascinating stories involving intrigue, royalty, indentured servants, religious exiles, warriors, poorest of farmers, wealthiest of land owners, lawyers, paupers, pastors, and prisoners. If you can imagine the character, it's likely in our family tree's canopy. No doubt, your family tree has a similar canopy. 

While we might squirm, like I have at some of the characters within the webbed branches of my tree, we love the whole tree. We see our heritage....all of it. We see how it paints the branches into the tree. Some branches end abruptly for many reasons. Others seem to flourish, but collectively they create an intricate painting. How do I relate this to school? 

Schools have their own "Family Trees". They have branches made from legacies, traditions, characters, diversity, interests, ages, leaders, followers, confrontational, non-confrontational, stoic, humorous, unethical, burned out, on fire, etc. I can think of a slew of branches we could incorporate into a school's tree. The branches become filled with leaves. Each leaf represents a staff member's place of comfort in the tree canopy. We hope to see a healthy tree don't we? Why? Because, healthy trees make for a happy environment to nurture our future. When we are gone we leave a lasting legacy in the tree.

In the next few blogs, I'm going to attempt to provoke thoughts about the health or lack of, within the environment of the School Tree. What role do I ... do you, play in the history of the School Tree? How do/did you find your own comfy branch in your School Tree? Did you gravitate to the staff members with similar interests, characteristics, hobbies, strengths, causes, school responsibilities, ages? Well, sure. 

Check that off the list. Does/did this mean you are trying to be exclusive or cliquish? Not at all. It's healthy, normal behavior to gravitate to people you identify with. Picture the family tree with all of the individual families drawn into woven branches. It takes a variety of groups to create an expansive center of learning. You're getting it! Each family is part of the School Tree's whole health. (exclusive of the diseased, which need to be pruned out from time to time .... different blog for another day).

Today I'll focus on one toxic element to the health of a school tree's environment. The fear of being "left out". The fear that any group is actually a "clique" that wants nothing to do with said individual. This unhealthy attitude has caused anywhere from a grey cloud to serious damage to the school tree's environment. Let's label the fear. How about ... "clique phobia". 

Institutions of all types have been weakened, or as bad as, dissolved by a toxic person's "clique phobia". It's an insecurity which provokes said person to cattiness, jealousy, pettiness, character assassination, noisy, two-faced behaviors. None of these are healthy behaviors and are not productive elements. They fuel backstabbing, gossip, hurt, distrust. Is it a complex issue or a simple matter? Think about that for a second. Is it something I need to work on or is it something that the "whole" need to work at? Solution. Begin with the end in mind. Hmmm....where have I heard that?

How do we keep our school's full of healthy, happy relationships among our staff? How do we create a happy school vibe? Once again, it starts with "me". Yep, this gets personal. I'm not at school to get myself into a new circle of "besties". My job at school is to aide children in the process of growing academically and socially. I think, ultimately, we have to collectively decide to examine ourselves with complete honesty. The question we have to answer is not a comfy one. Ouch! Here it goes.

How can I expect the children around me everyday to get along? Am I behaving like a badly behaved elementary child in front of them and my fellow staff members? Am I being that "moody little third grade girl/boy" that can't seem to get along with most of the class because "everybody else is leaving me out"? You're probably a much better person than I am. But, I never do better until I get a good stiff kick in my own pants with a reflective question. 

Time to get Proactive: Prune the dead branches and clean up the dead leaves.

We can: 

1. Stop thinking about situations as being left out or excluded. It leads to unnecessary, toxic comments like: "they're all snobs", "bet they all go to...and we don't get invited", "of course they all look alike, they shop together all the time", "forget being asked to eat with them", "watch, they'll all save themselves a table together". I know it sounds silly when you read it in black and white.  Still, you know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you?

photo by Joey Hayes

2. Show the same respect for one another as we expect our school children to show to one another. It drives us a little nutty when they can't get along. Yet, we are not thinking with the end in mind and we are not being proactive in our personal lives. We are not behaving like adults. We have a minute by minute, daily obligation to make an effort at keeping the environment healthy at our School Tree. The choice is mine and the choice is yours. 

In other words, stop drop and roll. Put your own fire out. Yes indeed, you may be the one burning down the school tree. Oops!

Time out----Does anybody have a fire extinguisher handy? I think I smell smoke!!
Happy Schools Rule!

Stop! Reverse That!

I'm Having a Willy Wonka Moment: Reverse That.

Preface This: The purpose of this Happy Rule is to bring personal awareness.

Momma would ask us to give her fifteen minutes to come down from her school day. After time was up, she wanted to know how our day went. I can remember talking to my mom, on occasion, about some teacher's negative behavior during my school day. I had the blessing of her comforting wisdom from an educators stand point. It's likely you did that, too. My mother was never the teacher, who thought no teacher was ever wrong. She understood my questions.

Sadly, I have witnessed the same puzzling behavior from a few educators in these last decade of volunteering in my children's schools and working as an instructional aide.  Worse still, my own children had three educators that stand out to them today as being the "evil ones". See if this sounds familiar to you.

Teacher makes comments to student(s) in front of the class like: "Your parents are....!", "What kind of parents do you all have!?", "What is YOUR problem!?", "If your parents would....!", "I don't know why I do this job!", "You big baby!", etc. Picture other hateful, humiliating, and disrespectful comments being spoken loudly to a child or at times screamed at an entire class, including the many innocent children. The "innocent" children being the ones that sit everyday fearfully squirming in their seats. They pray every moment of every school day they will not be the ones to have to wrath pour down on their heads.

Now step back. Reverse that. Put your child, grandchild, or self in the receivers position. OUCHHH! You've seen it, too! Does it make you want to say the following to that so called educator?

"Stop! Would you like your child to be subjected to that verbal and emotional abuse? I wish you could see yourself. We all get heated at times. We have kiddos that appear to have a mission to push us to the brinks of insanity, but what we say can often not be undone. They are the children! We are the adults! Our tongue can be a two edge sword, which cuts the very confidence out of a child's academic heart forever. I assure you, your peers are about as sick and tired of hearing your ranting, screaming, and hateful comments. You are making our world stressful around here! Stop terrorizing the children in your classroom. Stop it!"

Happy Schools can't have happy vibes when hateful, hurtful comments are shouted and screamed at the children. Educators are suppose to be teaching respect, anti-bullying, and self-esteem. Fellow educators are sick of hearing it....maybe even more sick of it than the children are. Thus, stress and tension begins to rise among the staff. So, lets look inside ourselves. Is there someone you need to pull aside and kindly give an eye opening talk. Or, could it be you needing a wake-up call? In the words of the Great Wonka, "Let's Reverse That". 

Find ways to cope with the stress that are effective and not destructive. 
Synergize. 
Seek to Understand. 
Be a part of the healing in our Happy Schools.

Remember: What comes around....usually does go around.

How This Blog Was Born

Happy Rules for Happy Schools

I'm the daughter of an educator. Yes, I grew up in a school environment. My extended family has been the school family I grew up around. I've been watching educators and staff do their jobs since I was a child. My mother recently retired (for the second time!) after over forty years of being an educator and pioneer in the area of special education. She's shared decades of wisdom with  me. The dynamics in relationships between educators, staff, and students has everything to do with how healthy and happy the vibes are circulating around a school building. She has never really stopped tutoring children with the hope to learn.

Was anybody in my world more shocked than me when I, the interior designer, began subbing several years ago during the our nations big economic crisis? Absolutely not! I wanted to do something that would be stretching my soulheart. So, I dug in my prayer heals. God opened up the french doors for me to work within a wonderful school system. My husband and children are highly supportive of my decision---even proud, I think.

A friend asked me, if I would consider putting my thoughts for creating healthier school staff environments into tangible words. We spent time together reminiscing over the years of growing up in school and then seeing it from the adult perspective...hers from principalship, mine from instructional aide. Actually, she would have been the better writer. 

On most days, I am blessed to receive an education simply by observing how the adults in a school interact with one another and their students. Sometimes I pull from my memories and the conversations I have with educators and staff. Here I am with all of maybe thirty readers. I'm doing it one little blog at a time! 

I began collecting thoughts on how we can make our school environments happier by going back inside ourselves to seek the gift of "happiness". This requires a private sense of honesty and humbling. Sometimes it's easy to grow better and other times it's a tad uncomfy. At least, it is for me. It's never, ever to late to get better. My desire is to inspire someone to be happier in their school environment. It's simple. Happier School Staff make for Happier Schools period. The Beginning.

This is part of my amazing school family.